The words in this metaphor are no mere words, the emotions and feelings behind them are immense. Many of us have had to curb our desires because of them and this is in fact is mind-boggling. We are sacrificing our dreams just because it goes against the norms of society, not “religion” but society. Even if that was the case it’s not the place for others to interfere. If someone wants to judge, let them judge. No one can please everyone. If a girl wants to go abroad for studies people are like, “hae log kya sochenge(oh! what will people think), “pata nai kya karegi akeli wahan”(don’t know what will she do there all alone). If she stays out late at night people “itni raat ko akele ghar se bahar kar kya rahi thi( what was she doing out late night all alone), samjhao use log kya kahenge(explain what people will talk about it).”
Another famous idiotic metaphor is “larke roty nahi hai”(boys don’t cry). Men ain’t machine, they have a heart like everyone else. They also feel pain, sadness and remorse like everyone else. They can also fall into depression just like anyone or have anxiety attacks that leave them gasping for air.
“Mera beta to Engineer banega (My son will become an Engineer), Meri beti to Doctor banegi (My daughter will become a doctor). Even before taking a single breath a future is decided for someone who can’t even begin to grasp those terms. Who knows what future they will envision for themselves when they grow, they may want to become a Scholar or a Designer or a photographer or an entrepreneur but according to some the world only revolves around doctors and engineers. And for those who think photographer’s don’t earn much the next time someone invites a photographer to a wedding or any function, ask them how much he charges and you’ll be surely quite surprised. Let the child decide his own future for God’s sake.
Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t ever compare your child to someone. Encourage your child to find his own footing rather than making him succumb to his own insecurities. Be kind to your children, treat them with love and care and they will find success in one way or another.
Mental health is just as important as physical health and most people seem to neglect this. Do not let your actions become the bane of your child’s future.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
log kya Kahein ge” – “What Will People Say” by Amaima Fatima
